"Life is fragile; Pregnancy is NOT a joke"

The words "Life is fragile; pregnancy is NOT a joke" appear on the left side of the banner.
On the right is a white woman's pregnant belly, held in her hands, with a blue ribbon tied around it in a bow.
The image is credited to the group, "Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep".

The Facebook Group Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep (NILMDTS) shared this image and text today:

April Fool’s Day tends to see MANY posts claiming’ I’m PREGNANT!” to be followed by “APRIL FOOLS!!!” 

We know that pregnancy isn't a joke. For families who have lost a baby, for families struggling with infertility, pregnancy is REALLY not a joke. Finding positive ways to respond can be difficult especially when you just want to unload on someone that just posted that to their Facebook page. But just remember; they post this out of innocence and ignorance, something you no longer possess. For many of us there was a time when we too possessed that innocence and ignorance about all the things that could happen in pregnancy. We believed that pregnancy was a time of nothing but morning sickness and joy and little, tiny baby shoes, and cupcakes and flowers at a baby shower. That innocence goes out the door when a baby dies. 

So, how to respond? There are a couple of ways: 

1) DON’T! Just ignore it. That person posting that ‘joke’ didn’t do it to spite anyone. They have the beautiful bliss of innocence. YOU don’t belong to THAT club anymore, but remember when you did? 

2) Respond positively. Don’t lash out in anger. Use what YOU KNOW to gently remind others that pregnancy, for many isn't a joke. Your power is in knowing better and sharing in a positive way is educational and will allow others to open their eyes to infant death. Lashing out only makes people feel defense and shut down to learning more about you, about your loss, about the pain and the journey. How YOU respond makes a difference in how others will react. By educating kindly it spreads awareness in a positive way. 

Share here with us other ways to respond. Let’s use our incredibly strong base of families of loss to help educate and open conversations.

NILMDTS is a wonderful resource for families grieving miscarriages and stillbirths. Many doulas are also trained to help.

In cahoots,
~Sasha